I worked for a large firm of architects for 26 years - 16 of those as a partner. I was on the board with another five partners, including the founders of the firm. In those days, I worked on large-scale public projects like railway stations, for example.

During this time, I was working in a twofold way: on one hand, drawing on my creativity to the fullest as an architect, on the other, focusing as a partner on the business development side in order to safeguard the company's continuity. I got very little recognition for my efforts, though, and that started to frustrate me more and more. At a point where I was feeling quite lost and at the end of my tether, I came across Huib - by sheer coincidence. We decided to go for a coffee in a courtyard garden in the city. That in itself was like a breath of fresh air (and typical Huib), as I never usually treated myself to moments like this.

Something had to change within the company. I felt that more scope should be created for the younger generation of architects and partners. At first, people were open to the idea, but in the end, the founders just couldn't let go and wanted to keep hold of the reins. Huib was brought in as a coach and trainer - to help with consultations and negotiations between the partners. He tried to cut through the power dynamics of the hierarchical relationships, but it was difficult, and any chance of bringing about a transformation or shift was undermined in a very subtle way.

It all felt like one big poker game to me. Yet Huib was able to give me insights into my behaviour and into its effect on others. He coached me through the process with great strategic and tactical skill. A favourite expression of his was to 'get the elephant on the table', and I could only manage this if I cast aside my own resentment and feeling of being wronged, and viewed my partners with more compassion - saw them as human beings.

Eventually, it became increasingly clear that there was only one option left for me: to leave the architecture firm and start out on my own. Huib's way of working gave me more insights into the relationship dynamics, and how people interact and communication with one another. I understood that I sometimes needed to adjust my expectations, for instance regarding people I had placed on a pedestal because of their creative brilliance, yet were difficult to communicate with on an interpersonal level. I had miscalculated on the relational side just because they excelled in their specialism.

I originally took part in Huib's sessions for professional development, but our conversations soon starting having a knock-on and positive effect in my private life. I'm not some fluffy, airhead type of man, but sometimes it was as if Huib could read my mind, even understand the things I wasn't even telling him. The coaching sessions were simply eye-openers for me. They helped to unlock hidden feelings and make me aware of my blind spots. Result? My personal relationships have improved. I feel lighter, as if I've taken off a suit of armour. I can be myself again.

During this development journey, Huib could sometimes be assertive and confrontational, but also clear and vulnerable. This made it easy to build trust, which, in turn, allowed for me to open up more.

When needed, Huib got involved in an intense way. But he also knows when to take distance and let me work it out myself. I gradually let go of my need for validation and became more independent, more secure, inside. And Huib has taught me to stop complaining and to take responsibility for my own decisions! Liberating - and allows more space for empathy towards others.

I had no preconceived idea about the outcome of this journey when I started out on it, but I have to say I'm more than satisfied with it. I've become a more complete person. More in tune with my intuition, more heightened sensitivity. I'm navigating my own life's course - and have the personal development insights to steer it. I've found happiness in my life again.

Marcel Blom

Written by Jannie Regnerus, based on a telephone interview.