I work in a medium-sized family business, and a few years ago I succeeded my father as CEO and company owner. Running a business isn't something you're equipped to do overnight just because you've signed some legal papers and have been given the title. It's a complex transformational process. For the father it takes time to learn how to let go and the son needs to adjust to the new role.

I'm familiar with many family businesses within our sector and I know that taking over a family-owned company is often plagued by friction. We were no exception.

It went really wrong two years ago in the run-up to Christmas. I got into a huge row with my father. It got so out of hand that we didn't celebrate Christmas together that year. This affected me deeply. The business had caused a painful rift in my private life but the whole situation also forced me to reflect more deeply. I realised I was on the verge of a burnout.

It came about partly because of my perfectionism. I'm someone who always sets the bar high, which means I take on a lot of work myself. I didn't seem to be able to delegate tasks to and set expectations with my employees. Other people then took less and less initiative and I ended up doing everything myself. The pressure kept building up.

Another factor was the classic pitfall of the son who wants his father's approval and validation. I yearned for something so basic - a compliment from my father. But he rarely paid me a compliment and, when he did, it was only because I'd fished for it. We never talked about personal feelings with each other. I started doubting myself and whether I had the ability to do the job. This feeling built up inside me and became magnified. Several straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back moments until I hit rock bottom that Christmas.

Something had to be done.

When a friend told me he'd had coaching from Huib, I thought that if someone like my friend - with a job at senior management level - had had coaching then why shouldn't I do the same. I realised that coaching is not an admission of weakness, but an investment in yourself and your potential - learning how to shine.

In no time at all, Huib helped me put everything into perspective and figure things out more - including myself! So the business could continue operating as usual.

The thing that strikes me about the way Huib works is that he emanates a natural authority, which makes it easier for me to accept what he says. He's a good listener, never judgemental, and I don't think I've ever revealed as much about myself to anyone as to Huib. He was visibly moved by my story, which impressed me. A man of compassion and integrity.

During the coaching process, I learned above all to accept myself. Because I haven't changed fundamentally as a person, naturally. My biggest lesson was that the way I behave is an integral part of me, and who I am, and that I have to live with that. Two years ago, I saw this differently, considered the things I didn't like about myself as 'bad behaviour' that my system had to be 'cleansed' of. I now know that's not possible, and that a strength and a weakness are all part of the same coin - a pitfall is too much of a good thing, so to speak. I can use it by turning it around and capitalising on the strength rather than focusing on the weakness.

Two years ago, I could only see obstacles. I wasn't able to see the good things anymore and I didn't have any joy in my work. Now, thankfully, I'm experiencing life differently. I've got better at expressing my expectations to my employees and at setting clear goals and making agreements. I'm continuing to grow in my role as director.

This is what I would pass on from my personal development process: Be happy with who you are, don't be too hard on yourself, keep talking to your sparring partners, and don't change who you are - just learn to manage yourself!

Written by Jannie Regnerus, based on a telephone interview